Thursday, July 28, 2005

Public Apology

1. I had petai (what do you call them? Stink beans?) for dinner yesterday.
2. Lots of petai actually.
3. With sambal somemore.

1+2+3 above = damn funky stinky smell when I go to the toilet today. Sorry people. That's my apology to those who have the (bad) luck to use the toilet after me today (maybe even tomorrow). So, don't say I didn't warn you.

And may the stench be with you.

Update 28th July 2005, 11.04am:
1st toilet visit of the day. Nescafe + overnight petai really hits the senses. Hope the Malay dude that came in after I walked out is OK.

Update 28th July 2005, 2.08pm:
2nd toilet visit of the day. Still damn stinky. No change, no improvement. Think I need to drink more water and clean out my system. If not, J's not gonna like it when I get home.

Update 28th July 2005, 6.26pm:
3rd toilet visit of the day. Wee bit better (no pun intended). Just waiting to go home and plop the 'BIG' one. Heh.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

My Favourite Cartoon


Name: Ban Nee Kiah
Class: 3 Biru
School: SRK Kebun Lobak Merah
Project: My Favourite Cartoon

My favourite cartoon is He-Man and The Masters of the Universe. This cartoon is very nice. I like this cartoon very much. I always watch He-Man every Friday at 5.30pm. After I watch He-Man, I will eat dinner. If I don't watch He-Man, I will be sad. Then I cannot eat dinner. Sometimes I will go to the field and play football with my friends. If like that, I will ask my mummy to tape He-Man for me. I really like He-Man very much.

Sometimes I like to draw He-Man. I will also colour my drawing. He-Man is very handsome and good-looking. He is also brave and strong. He always take care of the good people and will fight away the bad people. That is why He-Man is my hero. I want to be like He-Man when I grow up. This is my drawing of He-Man.

My mummy help me to find some pictures so that it is easy for me to tell the He-Man cartoon story. Actually, He-Man is a prince. His name is Adam. Thats why people call him Prince Adam. This is Prince Adam's picture. This is when he is normal like everybody. He stays in a castle called Castle Greyskull with his father, the king.

When Prince Adam need to save the good people from the bad men, he will transform into He-Man. But the normal people don't know he is actually He-Man, because he will transform in secret. Nobody except for a few friends know he is He-Man. He will use his sword and shout "by the power of grayskull, I have the power" then he will transform into He-Man. There will also be music and lightning when he transform. Sometimes I don't know why people don't know Prince Adam is He-Man. The face look the same. All my friends also know he is the same. Maybe the people in the cartoon not so smart and never go to school.

He-Man got one good friend. His name is Man-At-Arms. He is older than He-Man. He helps He-Man a lot. They always fight the bad people together. He has a daughter named Tee-La. I don't like Tee-La thats why I didn't put her picture here.

He-Man always fight one bad person. The bad person is Skeletor. Actually Skeletor is very evil and look like evil person too. Skeletor stay in Snake Mountain. He stay there with his gang of evil friends. They always do the bad things and try to attack the good people, but in the end will still lose to He-Man. Skeletor never learn, always see He-Man and Prince Adam but still don't know they are the same man.

This is Skeletor's friend, Evil-lyn. She is a bad witch and can use evil magic on people. In this picture she look fat, but in the cartoon actually quite thin. I think is thin in the cartoon because everytime lose to He-Man already have to run back to Snake Mountain. My sister likes Evil-lyn. She say that not many girls will dare to wear like that and go out. I actually don't care what she wear. I only like He-Man.

This is the story of my favourite cartoon. At the end of the cartoon, they will tell the moral of the story. So the moral of the story is we must always be good. If we are good, then we can always win the bad guys. The End.


p/s. Saw some He-Man toy figurines at Parkson today. Reminded me of my childhood days. ;-)

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Mega Sale !!

Wooohooo!! Shopping freaks rejoice!! Mega Sale is back, back, back!! Time to hit the ATM's, brush the dust off 'em credit cards and head on down to 1-U, KLCC or Fajar (if that's all you got, losers!!! Muahahahahahaha..)

Me? I've got me shopping list all ready for some wallet-burning action this weekend with J. Looked into my wardrobe yesterday and noticed that i've worn each and every t-shirt I have in there at least 5 times!! Can you imagine that??!?! 5 times! Who in their right mind would wear the same t-shirt 5 times over?? And in a space of 6 months at that. Damn, I gotta find myself some new T's. So, number one on my shopping list:

A couple of garishly designed or mega colourful T's. Yeah baby! Think i'll need like uh.. 1.. 2.. 3.. 4.... 5.. 6.. 7, yeap 7 T's should last me till the next super duper sale..

Next on me list is a pair of slip-ons, sandals, slippers (whatever you wanna call it). My jap slippers have given me a couple of heart stopping moments recently (read: wet floor, hot chick, me *hot dude*in jap slippers not paying attention to wet floor, hot dude in jap slippers slip on wet floor, hot dude becomes wet dude). New sandals, your daddy's comin' to get you.

Ok, so far doesn't look like i'll need to resort to maggi to survive the next few weeks. So with whatever I have left over after my T's and sandals, I'm gonna head over to the underwear aisle. Tanga's, sport mini's, briefs, boxers, G's, blah blah blah... Damn lot of choices and types, all with the same basic function. What's your favourite? J likes me in *bleep* (Can't tell you now can I? *wink wink*)

Image hosted by

Gotta get 2 weeks supply of them undies. We're always having water supply problems here, might need to go more than a few days without any means of washing. Ehem.

J's calling me already. Gotta go push and shove my way thru the horde of people expected to crowd around them 70% bins. Headlines tomorrow read "Man holding 4 boxes of Renoma's stomped to death in Is-e-tan".

But wait, gotta call up customer services and get my credit limit increased. Wooohooo!

Thursday, July 21, 2005

New Look


Taking a break from playing around with my blog template. This 'basic' html thingy is not so basic after all.
*slapping forehead TWICE*

Have to thank my fren C for some pointers on html (wazzit? hard to manage language? geez)

1 month into blogging and feel that its time to freshen up the look of my page. Have more colours, more Image hosted by, more text... basically more of everything. And this is just the start of my page renconstruction. Stay with me people, we're in for a reno ride.

Thursday, July 14, 2005


Damn, I don’t believe this. I needed to go pee, badly. So, I walked into the men’s toilet in my office, and as the urinal drain was under repair, I got into one of ‘em empty cubicles and closed the door. As I was unzipping and letting the kuku out to get some fresh air, another guy walks into the next cubicle. Fine, nothing wrong with that. His cellphone rings, he answers. Also nothing wrong with that. I hear his voice, I know who he is. Still nothing wrong with that. People answer phones in the toilet so that they don’t waste another 10 cents returning the call later. Its ok. Then I hear him wee-wee-ing. Ok, I mean that’s what he came in for. Next, I hear him walking out the cubicle and out of the toilet, with the creaky sound of the toilet door closing behind him.

Now, I did not miss out anything in the chronology of events above. Ok, I’m sure he zipped his pants before he walked out of the toilet, but that’s not the point!
The things he didn’t do were:
1. Flush the bloody toilet bowl
2. Wash his hands

That’s like the 2 most basic things to do in a toilet after you wee-wee dammit! If he doesn’t want to wash his hands, its not my problem. But flush the damn toilet bowl la. That one also have to teach meh? And to top it all off, this guy holds a managerial position and has been working in this company for numerous years. Study so long, work so long, basic thing also don’t know how to do. Crap. I was pissed (no pun intended). C’mon, there’s a sign in each cubicle reminding you to flush after every use. Just pull the lever la. Not difficult right? Not gonna cause blisters on your hands right?

I just don’t understand people sometimes.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

My Relationship

My heart feels heavy. Sadness is beginning to engulf me. I look around me and I find that I won’t see the same things again, soon.
I supposed you’d feel sad too if you were in my shoes. I mean; a relationship that has lasted more than 3 years is about to end in 3 weeks. We’ve been thru a lot, thru ups and downs, periods of pain and suffering (mostly on my side) interspersed with laughter and fond memories. In these 3 years, I have discovered myself, I have learned to look inside of me, have understood what it is that I really want in my life.

Being in this relationship has taught me that things are not always what they seem, nothing in life is free and the only constant in life is change (and death, but that’s a different story). I have seen my fair share of changes ever since we came together. People tell me that change is always for the better, I know differently. In every situation, where there is a winner, somebody else is bound to lose. And I’ve been on the losing end more often than not. In a race, 2nd place is the 1st loser; and I have lost count of the number of times I have finished 2nd in this relationship.
I’ve cried inside much too often, too many sleepless nights listening to the sound of silence and heartburns stemming from differing points of view.

I should be happy that this relationship is about to end, you say? I could totally agree with you, but when I think of the good times, the sharing and the bonds that I have; I’m torn.

I’m the kind of guy who finds it difficult to let go. I have devoted more than half my waking hours practically every day for the last 3 years into this relationship; its just not that easy to stand up and walk away. I have fond memories aplenty, and this is after all my first serious relationship. 1st day we came together I was the happiest man on earth. 18th February 2002 is a date I will not forget so soon. But things have never been the same since. I have been taken for granted so often that I have become numb in the senses already. And in these 3 years, I have always been the yes-man. A follower, someone who’s opinions don’t hold water, someone just to turn to when in need, brushed aside at other times.

No more. I appreciate all that I have experienced, the self-discovery and the good times. But its time to move on. We’re starting to walk in 2 totally different directions, and my other half can no more sustain my desire for a better life. Thank you for the good times and the friendship(s). I wish you all the best, and I hope you do the same for me.

Over and out.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Embarrassed Whatchamacallit

I know its a wee bit late now (for my standards) but I'm just so wide awake. Blame the 2 cups of teh tarik with me bud-dees A & D a couple o' hours back. Btw, A's getting married in a couple of weeks. So, A, "Congrats man! Just stay focused and BE STRONG! Heheh". Okays, where was I? Right..... Before that, I had just gotten back from Subang Parade and Carrefour (I know, Saturday nights spent in Carrefour is just not 'happening', but hey, I'm a 'married' man. Carrefour's my Atmosphere!).

And this (these?) is what I saw which I really weally have to share with you people. Btw, everybody knows what 'malu' is right?
Malu = embarrassed / shy

Everybody knows what 'kuku' is right?
For the benefit of those who don't know what I'm talking about, please refer to the examples of conversation below to get an idea of what a 'kuku' is all about:

(Mother telling off little boy)
"Don't play with your kuku, boy. Dirty dirty."

(Dad telling young son at urinal)
"After weewee already, shake the kuku a few times then keep it."

(Little boy telling little girl)
"Nyeh nyeh, I got kuku, you dun have!!"

I hope you get the point.

So, I only managed to stifle a giggle when I saw this:

First time I saw it... Whoa!

Another one...

And another?

Is that a kuku sticking out there?

What's this? An invasion??

By golly. Whats with the brand name?? What were they thinking when they concocted the name? Who in their right mind would take a 'kukumalu' flask to work? Putting that flask to my lips would be like..... damn, I can't even begin to imagine a kukumalu at my lips.
But I tell you, they were everywhere! All over the whole stationery section! It was like an invasion of malu-ed kuku's. Kuku on soft toys, kuku on pencil cases, kuku on coin boxes, kukus everywhere.

So what are they gonna come up with next? Nennen Shaishai?

p/s: Pics are a bit blurry cos I was a bit embarrassed to be sna
pping pics of embarrassed dicks

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Handling "Situations"

This post is dedicated to all my buddies.

Now, the question is how to handle your girl when in a situation. What constitutes a situation? Its hard to explain, I mean, everything is hard to explain with regards to the female species, so I’ll just give a few examples of ‘situations’ and how to take care of them and come out a winner.

Situation 1:
Both of you get ready to go for a night out in town. You’re all dressed up in your Reject Shop best buys, dolloped on your PS CK Eternity and strapped on your gleaming Lolex when she calls out to you from the bedroom. You walk in and she puts you in THE situation.

Girl: Which looks better on me? The blue or the green dress?

*Unearthly silence follows*

Now, if you answered -
Guy: The blue one, definitely. (Thinking that she’ll adore you for being firm and unwavering)
Girl: I think I prefer the green one. You don’t know my tastes. You don’t understand me. How long have we been together? 5 years? You don’t know my favourite colour is green? I always wear green.
Guy: Errr…. Green it is then. I’m ok with anything. (Wavering already)
Girl: But you said you prefer blue. How can you do this to me? Are you going to tell me you love me and then go love somebody else? (Unreasonable I know, but it happens sometimes)
Guy: No no no. I only love you and nobody else. Come here and give me a hug.
Girl: You can go out by yourself. I’m having maggi.

Now, if you answered ‘green’. Please swap the words ‘green’ and ‘blue’ in the above conversation.
Same result. Everytime.

Now, how to handle this? Rewind to the situation above.

Girl: Which looks better on me? The blue or the green dress?
Guy: The blue one brings out the colour of your eyes and I think would go well with your light blue Vincci’s. But the green makes you look young and fresh, and the dress also holds the curves on your body so well. Just makes me wanna peel them off you when we get home later. Green it is. (Plant a lingering kiss on her forehead)
Girl: *Muaks*

Short conversation. Everybody’s happy. Girls love compliments. Guys love a good shag later. Everybody’s a winner.

Situation 2:
You and your girl are walking around in a shopping complex. She’s doing all the buying; you’re doing all the carrying. Suddenly, a hot young miniskirted and bootylicious babe appears on your radar, within your field of vision. You sneak a glance, desperate not to let that drop of saliva appear thru the cracks of your crooked lips. Your fantasy is halted back to reality with –

Girl: What were you looking at?
Guy: Nothing. Just looking at the clown there entertaining the kids.
Girl: Clown my ass, you lying bastard!
(Stomps off with you scurrying after her)

Alternative answer:

Girl: What were you looking at?
Guy: That girl there lor. (Hoping that honesty gets you some brownie points)
Girl: So, now I’m not good enough for you la?!?! You have to resort to looking at other women?
(Stomps off with you scurrying after her)

Either way, you lose. And that bootylicious babe is gonna laugh at you.

Do it this way:
Girl: What were you looking at?
Guy: Just how slutty looking that girl there is. No sense of fashion langsung. Doesn’t she know that miniskirts dun go well with jap slippers? Haiyo… if only she had half of your dress sense. You’re just the best, baby. I’m so glad you’re mine.
Girl: *Muaks*

Win win again. You get to ogle. She gets to feel good. You get another good shag later. And everybody lives happily ever after.

P/S: No offence to anybody pls. This was written for a good laugh. And thats how it should stay.

Sunday, July 03, 2005

What's your colour?

Its a Sunday afternoon. Warm, sunny and peaceful. I've just finished lunch and thought that I'd just update what I've been up to over the weekend. Yes, if you happen to have caught an earlier post of mine, I had 5 to-do items over the weekend. Sad to say, I only managed 2 out of the original list.

Went for a massage on Friday night. Traditional stuff, with sweet-smelling oil and soft tranquil music in the background. And nope, no photos to be posted. Don't want you people to get all hot and sweaty over my half-naked body. ;-p

The other thing I accomplished was the long overdue item on my to-do list. Wash and wax my car. Kinda like.. Return of the Wax-i. A long long time ago, in a ga-wax-y far far away.... ok stop. Thats enuff. I think the smell of wax and polish compounds do funny stuff to your coherence. Or maybe only to mine. Neways, my is(upra)wara is looking good now. Clean and clear.

Gleaming white knight

Okays. Introductions aside, I saw this lollypop car on my way home yesterday. And it got me wondering bout the colours you can put on your car nowadays.

Lollypop car

Strawberry or apple flavoured?

And I've got a couple of friends who are gettin' new cars. One's gettin an 'ozzy orange' coloured car (OD on Flavettes) and the other is gettin' a green coloured maivee. In her own words (the latter) the green myvi looks like a giant frog. I'd say it looks like an anaemic giant frog. So on one hand, i've got a fren who's gonna drive around in an orange shade tomato; and another who's expecting her frog in a couple of weeks. Makes me look so boring in my Tai Pau* on wheels. ;-)

So, whats your favourite colour on cars?

*Chinese bun (super huge one)

Saturday, July 02, 2005

Don't listen to rumours

That's what our PM said. And he was referring to the rumours abound on increase in petrol prices. Quote "If the Government decides on a fuel price increase, the people will be notified; We create rumours and then get upset over it" Unquote.

Well, I for one am glad that the price of petrol stays as it is (for now). To those of you whom I sms-ed with news of hike in petrol prices, I say sorry. Sorry for making you get off your sofa, take your car out and fill her up. Sometimes I wonder if it was one of 'em companies that started the 'news' to get some 'business'.

But since we're on the subject, I've got opinions to air. I'm sure you've heard of friends or relatives saying "my car drinks petrol like water, my fuel consumption sucks". It may have been a figure of speech, but now you can take it kinda literal too. What's the price of petrol nowadays? RM1.52 per litre? Mineral water costs the same for crying out loud! And I tell you this, my car is one hell of a thirsty dude. Btw, I dun think I drink 40 litres of water a week.

And you know the talk about how our government subsidizes the petrol costs? Telling us that our cost of petrol is relatively cheaper than other countries? Well, I was in Oz a couple of years back, and I was in Kiwi fruit country this year, and the cost of petrol (they call it gas) there is also in the region of $1.50 (their currency la). Now don't tell me about conversion rates. Cos my salary is not converted either. Tell me i'm wrong, but to me the price of petrol is the same there and here. And the thing is, we're a country that produces petroleum. Tell me i'm not being short-changed by my own country.

Now, I don't want this to become a big ruckus or a lengthy lecture on "you need to be appreciative and be thankful of what you have here". I'm just voicing my thoughts. And i'm not saying I must be right.

Just let me know what you think.

Friday, July 01, 2005

I need a change

Weekend’s come a knocking already. So fast and a whole week has flown by. It started off on a slow lethargic note, picked up midway and now I’m gunning home on the last straight down the weekend. And what have I achieved in my 1/52 weeks as a 26 year old? Nothing. Zilch. Zero. Kosong.

I wasted 1 week of my life doing nothing. Accomplishing nothing. Except for the odd chocolate popping, there was nothing even to post about. And that’s the story of my life. A routine life, governed by rigid office hours and never-ending traffic jams. A predictable life, moulded by the fact that I’ve got nothing to do every night. Well nothing of note anyway.

I’m fed up of the fact that I already know whats gonna happen when I step foot into my apartment later. Take off shoes, socks, put bag down, take keys and wallet out of pocket, remove shirt, belt, pants, take a pee, wash hands, put on shorts, drink water, switch on tv and wait for J to come home. Once she’s home, obligatory “where u wanna eat” question is asked, put on t-shirt, grab keys & wallet, go for dinner, come home, strip, bathe, put on clothes (if applicable), watch tv or talk, brush teeth, pee, wash hands, set alarm clock, try to sleep, and finally sleep.

So I’ve decided. If I wanna change my lifestyle, I have start now. Its gonna be today or never. So when I get home today, I’m going to get a drink first before I do anything else. I’m gonna change my routine around. Maybe set my alarm clock before I bathe. Ask J where to eat after we’ve come home from dinner (?). You know, just do things a bit differently, and see how things work out. Maybe it’ll take the rut outta my life.

And tonight will be the precedence set for the rest of my life. I’ll try to do something of note every week or even every day if I can. I wanna live my life to the fullest. I wanna look back at my life when I’m on my death bed and think to myself “ There’s nothing I would want to change in my life”. So, for that matter, I’ve got stuff lined up for this weekend; stuff that I would like to get done:
1. Go donate sperm (for the 1st time)
2. Go donate blood (not for the 1st time)
3. Get another tattoo (no comment)
4. Wash & wax my car (damn long overdue)
5. Go get a full body massage (and yes, just the massage and nothing else)

So, wait for me post on Monday people. I’ll let you know what I’ve accomplished over the weekend. And lets hope this week has not been wasted. But first, I gotta get thru my half day working Saturday tomorrow. Shit. Now thats a routine I'd dearly love to change.